All plants are our brothers and sisters. They talk to us and if we listen, we can hear them.
Aparaho tribe proverb
When I was studying communication science back in my 20s, we were learning how to compose a message that would be well delivered and received. We never learned to listen. I graduated with my masters degree missing the main bit of communication – listening – and got tired very quickly of the corporate job, as it is not everything just about the numbers. I love communication and believe that it is the main factor that contributed to human evolution – passing knowledge and sharing stories. However, you have to listen to learn anything. To me, communication is always about relationships.
Today, most of Western society has come to a point where we have to re-learn basic things about how to be humans again. It’s been said that the biggest communication problem is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply. Everyone became so important to themselves that they wanted only to talk. It is not about relationships and stories anymore. It is about playing power games.
So I invite to practise communication skills with plants, as they are very patient our brothers and sisters, who won’t interrupt you and will listen, and if you come with an open heart and curiosity, you will hear their answer as well.
You must have noticed that good listeners seem to carry this power around with them wherever they go. It surrounds them, they mediate a sense of trust and warmth. Conversations with them usually just “flow” and you leave feeling refreshed and understood.
Check out the 4 top qualities to become a good listener. I believe you will benefit whether you are listening to a person or a plant.
#1 You’re in the here and now
Make some time and space for the conversation. Frequently, we fail to be fully present when listening to others. Genuine listening means silencing your inner monologue and devoting your complete attention to the speaker, as well as preventing possible distractions around you. You are all ears.
#2 You’re curious and open minded
Interest is an essential element of listening. The problem is that we start thinking we already know everything. No matter how much you already know, there’s always more to discover. Try to understand and be in other’s shoes. Accept a different truth and a different type of living. When we listen, we get a peek into our counterpart’s world. Even if it doesn’t align with our own worldview, it’s fundamental to stay interested and attentive. We can learn so much.
#3 Be active in listening
Listening is not a passive endeavour – it itself is active. The body language of a good listener answers with eye contact, an understanding nod, and facing the person who is talking. Also listening does not mean sitting there in silence. In the right moment, it makes sense to reply, to communicate that you are listening.
#4 Be patient but know your limits
Patience is a virtue; this goes for listening as well! A good listener understands that language is a complicated method of transportation for thoughts and feelings. However, sometimes the conversation is so one-sided that it becomes challenging to continue listening. It’s okay to interrupt someone! Nobody has to “endure” a conversation. That’s not what listening is about. We can only have genuine interest in a conversation, if we also allow ourselves to stop. You don’t fool yourself or others, and you don’t listen just because you don’t know how to end the conversation.